Studio Session w/Staylefish

June 5th, 2009.

Some music makes you want to dance. Some music makes you want to run. The music being made right before my eyes, right now as I type makes me want to chill the FUCK out. Yes, the rock-reggae fusion of Staylefish is wrapping up the final mix for their third EP, Color By Numbers, in the shadiest part of a nowhere industrial area, away from the bright lights and screaming fans that are sure to follow in the coming months. Just the UNmixed tracks sound retardedly amazing. I can't wait for the world to join in on this awesomeness. They will soon.

Their new direction pops. The sound is clean, punctual, vibrant, catchy as hell and dripping with good vibes. I wish I had a car and it was back in the mid-nineties when cruising was still an acceptable past time. Oh well, an iPod will do just as well.

It's an incredible process to watch the layers of vocals, guitars, drums, keys and bass, mixed, faded, added & subtracted; in this music factory, sound is pulled apart and reassembled in seconds. The level of manipulation that current 21st century digital technology offers is so overwhelming to a non-musician, I understand that the limitless tech options are only made valuable by the level of artistic ability each man possesses before me. It doesn't hurt that producer John Nazario has gold and platinum albums hanging on his studio walls with the likes of Nelly Furtado and FA, BO, LO, US. Simply put, this shit is serious.

I'm sitting on a most comfortable black leather couch, being served double espressos, joking and laughing with the band, while they grapple with technological issues Bob Marley never had to think about. As the film guy who toils into the night, alone, it is very refreshing to watch the continuous collaborative effort put forth by the entire band. They work cohesively, intuitively and respectfully. There is also a lot of farting, which I am more than happy to contribute; this is as far as my musical abilities will take me today.

They play with their iPhones and guitars alike, listening to their tracks over and over, refining their sound down to a fine art. These guys are musicians and I can't wipe the big stupid grin off my face; it is such an honor to watch them create what will invariably launch them into the next stage of their career. This album, in all probability should put them into the commercial mainstream with MuchMusic, a new tour, album release parties and hopefully, a big label rep. Here's me crossing my fingers.

To give you an idea of the daily goings on, I've just watched them text a percussionist in London, Ontario, to record a conga drum track, then wait an hour, then download a 70MB file through a totally not stolen internet connection, and seamlessly blend it into their rough track. John the producer swears it was worth every last-minute-penny they spent on this last minute addition. They bribed the guy with 100 bucks for about 15 minutes of work. I'm just amazed that some guy banging away on conga drums, two hours away, can just send that through interspace and bam, presto - they've got the exact flourish of color the track required. This is the impulsive, last minute tinkering that Staylefish is engaged in. Half the shit they talk about, I can't hear the difference anyway. But I understand.

My good friend Dan Tran is a Vietnamese rock star with a heart of solid gold. He gives the best hugs. He plays face melting solos on his hollow-body Fender telecaster; the envy of all who see it. He let me play it today and it was every bit as gratifying as I had imagined. Thanks buddy. I don't think I've ever met someone so warm and inviting to all that he meets. Most definitely, a rarity.

Brent Chenier, the band's newest acquisition, rocks out by sloppin da basss mon, his body moves to the beat, subconsciously integrating his natural rhythm into everything he does. Even drinking a Corona-espresso. He's been with the band for three months now, but it's as if he's been with them from the beginning. They're really just a big, happy, family.

Chad Kivisto, the lead singer and rhythm guitarist passes me a stereo headset to listen to the current track they're playing with, The Good Times, and it is indeed, a good time. Soaring lead solos, cool laid back vocals, reggae influenced freestyle jams and a catchy beat that works perfectly for sitting on a beach, smoking a spliff. I can't wait for this album to drop. SOON.

Richard Howard, the other lead vocalist and token black-guy-that-gives-them-street-cred is back in London sleeping on a couch somewhere. I will see him the next day at their show, and we will indeed have a four hour van ride to the American border, drinking, laughing, filming, and other things I can't talk about here. He's a good shit.

Jon Bacon, the bands drummer, is somewhere causing trouble. That's all I'll say. :)

Tonight we drive to London in the band's van in preparation for their show tomorrow night. I'm "going on the road" to shoot their performance as part of our plans for their promotional material, and possibly, what could become part of an indie music video. We'll see. Hanging out with rock stars isn't like the movies; it's actually kind of better because these guys are caring and fun to be around. That's all I feel like mentioning right now, because I have some living to do. I feel like I'm Patrick Fugit in Almost Famous. All I needs now is my Penny Lane.

Off I go...

Thanks for reading. D.

I'm a PC. (Perverted Corporation)

Have you seen this girl on TV?

Save the degenerate members of NAMBLA, most people would agree that you don't have sex with children. Besides the fact that you should hopefully be attracted to someone your own age, the fundamental premise that underlies this socially agreed upon covenant is that a child, being a CHILD, does not yet possess full autonomy. They can't make complex decisions, nor should they be expected to.

Richard Dawkins uses the same argument to show how no child can truly be called Catholic, Christian, Muslim, Jewish, or whatever, in his pro-atheist book, The God Delusion. He made his argument on the grounds that while children can be raised in ANY particular religious home, they are not actually part of that particular religion until much later in their life; when they CHOOSE it for themselves. Made sense to me.

I think we can all agree there is something sinister about using the impressionable nature of a child to sway him or her in a certain direction before they have a chance to choose their own path. Who would do such a thing?

I give you the "I'm A PC" ad campaign. In its most recent lame attempt to look cool, all I can figure is that upon realizing no sane, autonomous adult would choose a PC for themselves, Microsoft has followed in the tried and tested footsteps of the Preachers and Rapists before them, and begun targeting unsuspecting children in a bid to boost profits. Oh for shame.

Alright PC, if that's how you want to play it. Tsk tsk.

Mac:1

PC: nada

Penis vs. Vagina

Why do they call it "bumping uglies"? What's so ugly about the way we bump? Is it what they do? How they look? Feel? Taste? Smell? I'm guessing it's an indefinable combination of our five senses that make penises and vaginas a bit of a neglected critical topic. I guess my point here is, if our uglies are in fact "ugly", what then is beautiful?

I can't get past this. In the end, our culture seems to say it's all about the baby-maker! Does it work? Did you get results? Okay, good life. A+. See you in the next one. But that feels so goddamn empty; I don't want to accept that. Why are we so stupid when it comes to sex, genitals, babies and the life force that supports them to exist in the first place?

I think we're past the dark days when things like masturbation was the Devil's doing, and people made love to each other through a hole in the sheet. Today, that kind of shit is just plain kinky. But considering that's where we come from, I'm just assuming everyone loves his or her junk these days. How could it be any better though? We often reference the qualitative judgment that size matters, in reference to breasts, bums, penises and sometimes even labia. Haha this is hilarious. Where am I going with this? I don't know. But this is the prettiest shit we got, in my perversely humble opinion. And we downplay it all, cover it up, eek away from discussing it and instead turn our gaze towards fashion, television, image and reputation. The things that make us are hidden and ignored; the things that distract us are copied and revered. What gives?

I remember wondering as a kid why the penis was the only appendage on the body that didn't have bone or muscle. Haha. Imagine penis exercises? Guys packed in the gym who already take bodybuilding too far would walk around with these massive bulges everywhere. It would be hilarious. It's almost like Nature thought better of that feature, and was like, "Oh no guys, Jesus, how did I almost miss that one, no, I don't think you'll be able to handle that responsibility quite yet... I'm downgrading you from a muscle penis to a spongy one instead - oh don't worry, when you need it most, it will get hard like a muscle all the same". Splendid. But we can't control its size and biologically speaking, it's the most important part of our external appearance. This was a primary lesson in accepting that which I cannot control... ahem, not that there's been any complaints. (See, I still care what other people think! Blast.)

I must say, I will take a French Martini Glass over an American Hooter any day. The point being, balance is pretty and attractive, purposefulness is what we should be all about because THAT is what's truly beautiful. But we're most definitely not. I can't help but notice the people who seem more concerned with producing a full Facebook album the next day, rather than enjoying themselves on any given inebriated social outing - I think they call them parties. I don't care really, it just seems like a waste of time. But how did we get so distracted with image?

Bodybuilders and beauty pageant contestants are cultural hyper-manifestations of the masculine and feminine form. They are unchecked, exaggerated physical versions of our ideological human spectrum. In this corner, we have Testosterone, weighing in with a lot of muscle and rage and manliness. And in this corner, we have Estrogen weighing in with feelings and emotions and girlishness. Haha this is my retarded worldview. Most people land somewhere in between. But you have to wonder? Why? Why do these people exist? What do they gain? What do they contribute?

I find it very comforting to remind myself that all humans possess certain levels of BOTH testosterone and estrogen - just in different amounts. My favourite people seem to be the ones with a near even mix. It's like they are hormonally centered. There doesn't seem to be an inner urge to convey an outward sense of any one particular gender - they're just themselves. The rest just come off as maddened and delusional. But I should really validate that horribly superficial judgment with a deeper explanation. Here goes.

You can group the entire package of madness together under one heading: EXCESS. High heels, makeup, toupee, fat, tans, pushup bras, jewelry, large muscles: they're all just a form of material excess. Adorning the basic human form with organic and inorganic enhancements, to look extra-ordinary. It's all a ruse. We huff up our chests, pout out our lips, squint our eyes real tight and look like something less-than-human. I'm not saying they don't work though. High heels, for whatever reason, make a killer set of legs look even better. But then I think, if you blur your eyes a little, the high heel makes the woman's foot look pointier - like she's walking on stilts. Why is that attractive? It makes her feet look smaller, like that of a child? YOUTH! It defines a social custom of trying very hard to capture, preserve and exploit the concept of youth. A tan only looks great because the implication that you've been out working in the sun for many hours denotes stamina, strength, virility, whatever. It all comes back to the same core idea, that ornamentation of the body is just a way to increase the odds of attracting a mate. No shit Sherlock. But what is the intrinsic value in faking something if it's not sustainable?

Let's flip it around. Have you ever met someone who was really physically attractive, almost to the point where you devalued yourself in his or her presence? You said something to yourself like, "He or she is way out of my league". Seriously? Why do we do this? Lets take this a step further. Have you ever spent time with a really attractive person, and in that process discovered they were totally lame? Something about their flatness of personality, or their raging immaturity, or annoying idiosyncrasies you just can't overlook after awhile. Physical beauty is more like a resume than a job. You use it to sell yourself, but only for first impressions when no other way is possible. Do you keep handing in your resume to your boss every time there's a new project? No. You used it once to get the interview, now your work speaks for itself. So who cares if you're good looking or ugly? Unfortunately, I do.

Because this is how we're programmed by the tone of our culture. All we do is run around looking at everyone else, hoping they are noticing us. Talk about futility. No wonder the divorce rate is so high. No wonder so many people are unhappy. We're running around hooking up with all this glitz and pizzazz blocking our view of what's really going on. We just want to validate ourselves with reproduction and complete the full act of being. To reproduce is to take matters into your own hands, literally, and fuck them. It asserts a level of control. It makes us feel powerful to reproduce. It satisfies urges, it connects us socially, it teaches us valuable lessons. Everything about reproduction is designed to make us grow. Or wait; maybe it's the other way around? Maybe everything about our nature is designed around one principle: to reproduce. It's all about prolonging the species. Gay monks, take a back seat. This world is for reproducers only. But that can't be right. Can it?

So it seems to be more or less a case of “fakes it till you makes it". In other words, projecting the illusion of possessing a hyper-gender helps you get laid. So you can repeat yourself. So you won't feel that death is a total loss. But not everyone is physically attractive and not everyone can reproduce - or wants to. I feel like somewhere along this line of thinking is where idiotic battles of the sexes stem from. One side asserts itself over the other; to somehow prove they are the superior side in their unchecked fake-out. Each gender forgets the importance of the other side. Men and women are in it together. The only useful way I see of separating anyone is by designating the smart from the stupid. Then you're making progress. And maybe, just maybe, if we had a collective esteem boost, it would be called "bumping pretties".

So in a world pervaded by the growing belief that immediate gratification is the only measure of success, I try to remind myself that the best and most worthwhile relationships come from years of being yourself. That takes, to some degree, a solid level of intelligence. I'm going to go ahead and put myself closer to the smart side of this list because I'm not rushing into anything too quickly. But obviously I don't have it completely down either. Blinded by my youth, I just can't let it go. Yet.

Most people, even the best I've encountered, still to some degree miss this point. Because on the ground level, there's an esteem boost when we see a more polished reflection in the mirror. A feeling of self-worth, importance, VALUE. It's easy to believe we are more valuable on the inside, when we can reference that reassurance with a quick flash in the mirror from the outside. The thing is, we're all alone inside our heads. And unless you're schizophrenic, there is no other voice in your head to tell you you're valuable. You just have to ask unsettling questions and be patient for the answers. In essence, our incomprehensible self-worth is only valuable when we see it from inside, on our own.

In conclusion, there are a lot of stupid women in the world. But there are just as many stupid men. Thankfully, there are a lot of smart women in the world. And not surprisingly, there are just as many smart men. So reframe the debate from “Penis vs. Vagina” to “Stupid vs. Smart” and the world will make a little more sense. For me it does anyway. I'm just looking forward to the day when I don't feel the need to separate anybody from anyone else. Maybe then I can bump pretties and stop looking in the mirror so much. We shall see what we shall see.

Thanks for reading. D.

No Mind. No matter.

"All things must end. Work hard for your own enlightenment" ~ The Buddha's final words.

When you look at a picture of the Earth at night, and a picture of the Human neural pathways, do you see a visual pattern? I do. I don't think it's a coincidence that they look similar. Both are showing the connection points of energy running on a logic system. The only difference is scale. Each day, as the earth spins on it's axis, one side receives sunlight, while the other rests in darkness. This spinning ensures an even distribution of energy at all times like clockwork and yields for us, circadian rhythm. But lately, since humans have banded together and shared their knowledge in the daylight hours, the Earth has begun to dream at night. Don't take my word for it. Just look.

As a result, pull back to reveal Earth spinning effortlessly around the Sun - keep this stationary image in your head and watch as the face of Earth darkens without sunlight, the electrical grid of metropolitan areas light up a rough perimeter to loosely outline their respective continents. This visual electric network of streetlights, buildings and cars, are lighting up the earth like a flickering filament in an old vacuum tube. Do you see the extended analogy? The illuminated neural network of a Human mind and the illuminated global network of an Earth mind? You have to step outside your own first, in order to really see the bigger one. But how?

Sit down. Cross your legs. Close your eyes. Breathe in. Breathe out. Concentrate on your breath and watch your mind. Be still. Feel. You'll find the right questions if you have patience and determination. Just like Jesus. And Buddha. And Neo. But seriously? No way. That shit is just made up bullshit. It doesn't compute with today's standards of success. Oh boy - hold on to your butts!

I was never very good at math. I could follow the lesson on the chalkboard, I could watch the steps and agree with each line of the equation, I would see the end result and conclude that the formula was successful. But then I would be given a problem on my own, and I would be at a loss for where to start. This was in part due to my lack of practice, however, my lack of practice was in part due to my lack of understanding the overall point. Each year, we would go through a painfully long term of basic mathematical concepts like calculus, algebra, trig, finite, whatever. It seemed endless. Where was it all going? Why???!!!! And then, at the end of the year, a teacher would spend the last week summarizing each part of the year, in a synthesis of conceptual understanding. They would say, "There. Look. THIS is what we are now able to describe, or explain, using all these little equations", and it would be quite a revelation. Then, I would take the course again the next year, and understand with each step, why I was doing what I was doing. I still didn't care, but at least I was able to pass math. That's a shitty way to go through life but it's what we often do. You may just not recognize the pattern.

This was an excellent lesson very early on: I learn best when the underlying concept is explained FIRST. Then, once I know the practical application, I can reason on my own why each step is important in it's own right, how each connects together, and to reason abstractly how to fill a void, without blindly copying the smart Asian kid next to me. And so the education system is adequate, but it fails to instill an extremely profound, albeit simple, concept from the very beginning stages: that we are all made of the same thing; energy. That would have really helped me if it were rammed down my throat in every subject I took. It wasn't, so now I'm ramming it down my own throat - that sounds dirty. So lets move on.

Nowhere in my education, was it ever stated, that there was a point to life outside of all the info crunching and ladder-climbing. Perhaps that was where Church was supposed to take over? Well, that wasn't for me and I didn't go. No worries, just wanted to state it outright. The point I'm trying to make, is that each person is uniquely responsible for his or her own education, ultimately, and if you are not satisfied with the questions you are told to ask, then fuck off and start asking your own. Simple.

A while back I made a quiet decision in the back of my mind that perfect happiness (or no suffering) is in fact an attainable function of every human being and so I systematically started down the path to figure out how. Very quickly meditation arose in several different areas as a recommended starting point. I had always heard this in the background, but now it seemed like a much more viable option. After only a few weeks of practice, I have started to see why. You see, religion has prayer, philosophy has dialogue, science has research, math has calculation; all are a point of focusing on our given reality with the intent of understanding it ever more precisely. However, they are all the same thing, or more accurately, they are all different variations of the same method, only labeled by words to be viewed as separate. This realization of uniting so many seemingly different pursuits into a broader channel of thought has been the first practical achievement of meditation for me, personally. It is organizing my wildly unkempt mind into a simplified, basic conceptual understanding of how all things work together. The consequence of which has brought me an amazing sense of inner peace. I LOVED using a pen to connect the dots as a kid. So gratifying.

I now look at my mind less as an unknowable variable of infinite complexity and more like an isolated human body. Think of when you go to the gym and work out, how at first you are weak, soft and small. A single bicep-curl on the first day will effectively do little for you, UNLESS you continue this practice every day. And everyone has probably had this experience, after a long period of physical latency, and you’re three weeks into a new gym routine and you can suddenly FEEL your body again. You twist a little further, you walk up steps a little faster, and you feel cool, healthy, firm and alive. This is the inherent benefit of the beginning stages of physical fitness. Over years of this practice, you will undoubtedly have the physique and health levels of the very best. The mind is the same. OH TWIST.

I never really thought of the mind as something that could literally choose a transformative process for itself, until just recently. The practice of mediation on a daily basis causes you to repeatedly take time out of your day (literally), and relax, ponder, concentrate and focus - on what? Doesn't matter. Focus is the key. Focus is the exercise. Each breath is a repetition. Essentially, the more you focus, the easier it becomes, and the more often you can apply it to the most random, boring daily activities, which in turn transform the quality of your immediate experience. So just like building muscle tissue, you can't bench 300lbs in your first week at the gym and you're not going to find Nirvana either. But the ability to focus is important because it affords you the ability to filter out all the melodrama, runaway threads, endless cyclical thought patterns that make the mind appear insurmountable to grasp. It's really this little stock-tickertape reader that gets energized the more you look at it. Stop looking at it and it stops ticking.

There seem to be many different meditative techniques, but they all roam in the same circles. The act of going deep inside yourself, spreading a conscious awareness of the life inside each imaginable part of your body, and just letting that arise within, is the best body buzz I've ever encountered. I have a feeling it is through this gateway, that you enter into that infinite realm of total peace and joy. According to some very old, tried, tested and true sources, this shit is like sustainable heroin, and so by definition, it's actually good for you. Now, just like flexing a muscle, I can contract my mind to a greater point of focus, at will. With time, the power of this contraction appears to be limitless. Enlightenment is the complete focus on right now, on energy as a whole without label or identity. Haha. It's a large pill to swallow. Inadvertently, I'm beginning to see why drugs are no good. On my very own too, without a public safety message to scare me.

I've already had a profound realization in a very short span of time. I've begun to see the illusion of sound and image (created by my eyes and ears), and the vastness that lies beneath all material form. I've renewed my appreciation for life and the outdoors by FOCUSing on my immediate present reality. I see the incredible beauty of Nature in parallel with the primitive human design all merged together as one. And it's getting easier. I can see planet Earth with more precise objectivity and that renders my ego into less and less. I see myself as an information-processing unit, temporary, fallible, human - but just to be aware of this allows me the chance to accept it. Apparently you don't need to be anything more. I've imagined the outlines of my body dematerializing and gone outside myself in a wave of stillness. I sat in the sun and felt it permeate my whole body in this different realm. I came out of it and was shocked. Sometimes it has been scary, but I can't stop myself from going back. The peace I'm gaining in my regular social life is ridiculous. I have shed all major external problems and that feels great. The deeper fears of my mortal existence, my temporary-ness, the pain of human tissue, these fears are rising up and I am happy to meet them. One by one, they are systematically being defused into conscious presence. I'm so happy and inspired by this turn of events. It's the first real feeling of freedom I've had since early childhood when I didn't have a name for everything and it all just fused together as one.

Words, labels, thought pictures, concepts, they are all just the mind firing away on default. When you begin to strip away all that you see, hear and think, and reduce it to a single point of focus, you create the opportunity for awareness of mind. By seeing the core of yourself as just awareness, your mind ceases to have weight. Meditation is like cleaning out your head (and by extension, your body), filtering out the unnecessary crap, and letting your very being open up to complete a circuit. By completing the circuit, you illuminate your mind with consciousness - this leads you as an individual unit to express itself as being ON.

The human brain is responsible for the Earth's Nite-Lite. I've said this before that each human brain is like a single unit of knowledge, or information. The idea of meditation is effectively screwing each human being slightly to the right, in the place where they stand, and watching the head suddenly illuminate, like a light bulb. Again, it is each individual's right to choose this for themselves, but you would only do so if you thought there was a tangible benefit. So, unless you first understand why you should illuminate yourself, you won't see the purpose of sitting still and emptying your mind.

Here's why: On a long enough timeframe, as each human chooses to illuminate their own mind, the Earth will appear to get brighter and brighter in the absence of sunlight. There is almost a direct correlation with the intensity and amplitude of the light emitted from each town or city, in proportion to the collective understanding of what we all are made of, energy. The more we understand our similarity, the more we work together, the more we share our knowledge for a common purpose, the faster civilization advances, the more people and energy are harnessed, the brighter the Earth will be - both literally and figuratively. Looked at another way, prehistoric Earth was pitch black at night. There was not yet a conscious presence, and so there was no agreement in order, and there was no way to achieve the harvesting of energy to be released at nighttime. Our Nite-Lite pattern reflects the human collective unconscious that is slowly coming to a point of self-actualization. Look at Congo. Look at Rome. The major difference is war or, lack of peace. No flow of positive energy. No flow of electricity.

THESIS: As your mind figuratively illuminates itself from within, this intrinsic change will manifest itself outwardly as visible light harnessed and projected by our collective species.

ANTITHESIS: So tomorrow may be today if it were really yesterday, but semantic gymnastics aside, it’s always right now. And I've surely been in the incubation stages for quite sometime now to accept all this so openly. But when you get to your wits end, or just plain tired of the "rat race", and you can't figure on what to do next, just remember you’re a light bulb. What do you think Bob Marley was wailing on about?

SYNTHESIS: I am not all the way screwed in. Or, in the most simplified way, I am usually turned OFF. I possess the switch to turn myself ON; you just have to look inside rather than masturbate. Once you are turned ON, you literally change the frequency of your energy field and you illuminate a different reality. I realize that sounds like cliché, mystical blather, but having begun the process of meditation sheerly out of a logical deduction from my limited options as a living being, there seems to be a lot of weight behind that blather.

If for no other reason, try it for the body buzz. I'll still love you all the same.

Thanks for reading. D.